....I long to play again as I did in childhood....
just to climb a tree, jump a rope, explore
with excitement and anticipation of
wonderful.....forget about life's problems,
forget about my health issues
and just run down the beach with a bucketful
of seashells, barefoot and laughing.....


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


CRAWLING

Walk away!!
Let me wallow in my grief.
There's nothing you can
contribute to take this
darkness away.
For time is a healer
so they say,
And your empty words don't
mean a thing.

Let me feel what I need
to feel.
I must follow this crooked
trail,
Where some of us laden down
with heavy burdens.....

.....
............
....
......................crawl.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.....sitting at the water's edge, waves lapping at our feet....we laughed at the antics of the blue heron who entertained us merely with his presence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PLAYING BACK THE MEMORIES

Whenever I think of you,
It isn't always with a heavy sadness.
Some memories are joyful,
and playing them back in my mind
Brings back the feelings
I had smothered
with the grief
of losing you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YELLOW FLOWERS

Yesterday I planted the flowers
that brought you joy.
The birds sang in the trees
overhead,
And I smiled as the yellow blossoms
opened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(a snippet of my thoughts)

......walking along the beach, waves lapping at my
feet....the wind blew a bright red Cardinal's
feather right across my path.
As I bent to pick it up, sounds of sea
gulls echoed over the waves.....
I spotted a unusually colored seashell
and quickly grabbed it up to add
to my collection, bringing with
it a handful of glitzy grainy sand.......
it would be so nice to share time with you
on days like this....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RAIN

The smell of rain....
Thunderheads building
on the horizon.
Lightening flashed madly,
Warnings to take cover.
I found your arms-
Waiting as always,
Like a warm blanket
Wrapping me in protection.
Laughter muffled
as the thunder rolled.
Sweet aroma in your hair,
Seduced me.
Enticed me.
Comforted me.

Ahhh, the smell of rain.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...........I don't remember a time when I didn't enjoy
the wonderful arrival of autumn. Seems I've always reveled in the beauty that marks this time of year;
the rejuvenating cool breezes, the slow rainy days,
the stands of trees painted by God in hues of reds, yellows, orange. All too soon, the magic will fade
into the dullness of winter and the color will
disappear......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I WANT
I want to wake up
on a cloudy day,
Listen to the rain
falling,
Feel the breeze
upon my face.
Have a song in my
heart,
And rejoice
In the glory of life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.......winter has arrived in all it's natural glory....this morning the wind blows fiercely and the birds have disappeared........snow dances in the air....flurries swirling, twirling in a white haze....I am alone in my thoughts, warm and cozy while just outside the
grasses have turned icy green...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MY LOSS

There was so much of my life
I wanted to share with you.
The days were insufficient,
the hours had wings.
Somehow my arms
Could not hold you
tight enough.
Slipping from my grasp,
Tears aflow--
You missed the end,
With no comprehension
Of the pain inflicted...
On my soul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHISTLE OF THE WIND

I hear the whistle of the wind.
Sounds like it's calling my name.
I stop what I'm doing to listen.
Rain runs down the windowpane.
A thought of you surfaces,
From the recesses of my mind.
I let the memories come rushing in,
for a time.....

Reliving special moments,
A smile plays on my lips.
A laugh escapes me with surprise,
To think of you like this!

The whistle of the wind.
Or, was it you calling my name?
I stop what I'm doing to listen.
As rain runs down the windowpane.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUMMER HEAT

Summer heat;
humid, sultry days.
I long for the cool breezes
of fall,
When the leaves are painted
brightly,
And the locusts disappear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EVENING SHADOWS

Evening shadows dance.
Crickets sing their immutable songs.
I sit quietly in gathering dusk,
Collecting my thoughts;
Surmising what should have been,
Grieving for where my life's
road has taken formidable turns.
The unexpected events that
never fail to alter.
The unexplained chaos rushing in.
Through it all I've learned
life lessons;
though not an eager student.
I yearn for what could,
....or should...have been...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A FEW TRINKETS

All I have left of you is a few mementoes-
trinkets of gold and silver,
worn letters bearing your script,
scattered pieces of your life,
a lace hankerchief you carried in your purse.
Though these things bring back
many cherished memories,
When I peruse the contents,
I would gladly toss them
to the wind-
To have you back in my life.

(Ode to my grandmother, "Mama")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NATURAL ELEMENTS

I love the sway of the trees,
the intricate lines in a leaf,
the brand new bud of a lovely
flower,
Hundreds of tiny grains of
sand on the beach,
An abandoned birds' nest
on the ground,
Pine cones scattered by
the squirrels,
Locust shells perched
perfectly on a tree's bark,
A cricket's immutable songs
in the night.

I love the wash of a gentle
rain,
The musty smell of a forest
ground,
Leaves changing colors
in the fall.
Birds gathering on the
ground searching for
an evening meal,
Shells left behind
in the tide.

I love the artistic gnarling
twists of a tree trunk,
Acorns perfect in form,
Dark soil of a garden,
Butterflies flitting from
bloom to bloom,
Bumble bees buzzing
around the crepe myrtle.

I watch in admiration,
in awe, in appreciation
of such a magnificent Creator
and Artist who created all
of these things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JUST ME AGAIN

Mama,
It's just me again.
Once again the spring is here,
And I can hear your voice fill the air
as you sang.
The fresh, clean sheets snapping on the
line,
In the sun
So bright.

It's just me again,
Longing for the times when I held
you close to me,
Never dreaming one day
You'd be gone--
gone forever.

It's just me again.
Crying a tear at the mere thought of
your smile,
Your love,
Your laughter.
Just you.

It's just me again.
Aching deep inside and I fear I'll
never be the same,
For when I mention your name,
I die a little more inside.

It's just me again.
Wondering why--still.....
I just can't imagine why you left,
When so many loved you.
How I long to see,

Just YOU again.....

(Ode to my grandmother, "Mama")